REAL ESTATE AGENT NEWS The Art of Gentle Persuasion

By: Sandy Geroux

There was once a competition between the North Wind and the Sun to decide who was the stronger of the two. The challenge was set to make a passing traveler uncloak. However hard the North Wind blew at the traveler, the traveler only wrapped himself tighter. But when the Sun shone with warmth, the traveler was overcome with heat and had to take his cloak off.- The North Wind and the Sun, a fable by Aesop

The moral of the story: Persuasion is better than force.
The complete moral: Kindness, gentleness, and persuasion win where force fails.

Think about the last time you tried to persuade someone to do something, perhaps to negotiate a sale, convert a prospect into a customer... or maybe convince your children to keep the living room neat!

How did you make the request? Did you try to "hit the person over the head" with facts and lecture, or did you point out the real benefits and rewards of their cooperation and participation with your request? Did you offer a compromise?

Now think about the last time someone tried to persuade you to do something for which a little more than usual persuasion was necessary. How do you react to lecture and threats (explicit or implied)?

Below are 5 tips to help you gently persuade:

1. Offer facts as needed: some people want more facts than others. Take the time to learn which personality type you're dealing with - those who want many details, or those who want more overview than detail. Providing too much detail will bring you past the point of acceptance with some people, confusing and overwhelming them into a non-decisive or accepting frame of mind, even if they’d already decided to take the indicated action. On the other hand, without enough detail, others will postpone making a decision because they are not yet convinced that your solution is the right one. Continue to offer the most pertinent details, one at a time, until they feel comfortable with the decision.
2. Point out benefits: don't lecture. Share stories that demonstrate the reasonable and expected benefits of taking the suggested action. A story could illustrate how a seller lost a great offer by failing to accept it, simply because it was the first one received… or how a buyer lost out on their dream home, simply because it was the first one viewed. Whatever the situation, stories abound in which your customers can learn from the mistakes (and triumphs!) of others.
3. Give the other person time to adjust to the new scenario: this is especially important if the request represents a big change from expected or the norm. If time permits, allow the other party a little time to "sit with the scenario" and become convinced that it is the right decision. If someone wants to sleep or pray on a decision, respect that wish. Just be sure to make the next appointment before leaving them! If you don’t set up the next appointment before you part ways, there is a good chance you won’t get back together due to telephone tag, buyers’ remorse, or negative influences from family and friends who wish to “help them make the decision.” If you set another appointment before you leave, they must talk to you before proceeding (because you’ll be showing up for your appointment shortly!), providing an opportunity to further discuss the situation and prevent unnecessary cancellations.
4. Offer/suggest a compromise, if needed (and possible): everyone loves a win-win, so seek a reasonable compromise in which the goal can still be accomplished without one person feeling as though they've lost something. Never pit your customer against the other party or another REALTOR®! Even though you may work exclusively for the benefit of one party or another, remember that the other party is not the enemy. This kind of destructive behavior only lessens the possibility of a compromise – and no one emerges feeling like a winner.
5. Allow the other person to come to his or her own conclusion: often, the other person has already reached the same conclusion, but just needs a little time to become more comfortable with it. Allow them this time (if time allows), as well as the privilege of making their own decision, rather than feeling intimidated into complying with yours. A large part of gaining buy-in is simply allowing others to be part of the process, even if simply to be their own decision-maker in their portion of it.